Finding balance and joy in a 

messy, magical life

Flashback: April 2020

A day in the life- World Autism Awareness Day - April 2, 2020

Reminder: This was the third week of the pandemic shutdown. Maggie was 13 and Amelia was 7 at the time. 

12:11am- I text Joe (he’s downstairs on the couch - we communicate mostly by text lol) to tell him that Maggie is finally almost asleep in our bed. We are leaving her there for fear of moving her and waking her up. Joe brings Amelia up to her bed- we let her fall asleep on the couch earlier because Maggie was in the middle of an aggressive meltdown and we didn’t want Amelia to witness it upstairs. Joe hits the couch for the night; I crash with Maggie, but it takes me a while to fall asleep. Last time I look at the clock, it’s almost 2am. 🤦‍♀️

Wake up to an iPad cranked to max volume- Maggie next to me throwing her head back to her music. Look at my phone- 5:17am.

Maggie miraculously lets me stay in bed until after 7. However, we spend these two hours in various stages of climbing, loud music, bed hopping, etc. Googled how to set max volume on an iPad. Sent the how-to video to Joe. 

Maggie’s iPad is in my ear with her “voice” cranked to the max: I WANT POTATOES repeated 50 times (no exaggeration). We go downstairs so I can make her hash browns with onions, one of her favs. Note- Joe is awake and is perfectly willing to make them for her, but Maggie is in mom mode- only mom is allowed to do it today. I get her potatoes started. 

Joe hits the shower because he has an errand to run at 9am. While the potatoes are cooking, I open my laptop, respond to a friend that was checking in on us, answer a teacher email (tech issue), a student issue (grade question), check to see if any more students responded to my Google Form check-in, and “grade” a pile of worksheets (eyeball them and give them 100 unless they have blanks). Burned the hash browns. Of course. 

*While I was grading and the potatoes were burning, Maggie helped herself to a cup of ice water, which she does often without an issue. Heard the water going a bit longer than usual. Went in to check the burned potatoes to find she turned the entire kitchen into a slip and slide. Wiped floor. 

Joe comes down and sees the kitchen. “Did you see the ceiling?” Nope. Water dripping from the light fixture (One of Maggie’s specialties). It’s literally raining in my kitchen. Joe also asks if I’ve seen the dining room. Nope. Amelia started a craft before bed and the dining room table is exploding in yarn and little pieces of craziness. I leave it for now- have no clue what step she is on in this disaster. 

Joe wipes up the kitchen ceiling and leaves for his errand. Maggie finally settles in with her burned potatoes (covered them in hot sauce- acceptable). I finished another quick email to the staff regarding how to set up Google Forms. Remind myself to do a screen cast for the staff later if my house is quiet enough. Realize that three students didn’t complete the worksheet I was grading earlier from March 12th. (Yes, I’m aware it’s April 2nd.) Send them the document to complete in Google Classroom with instructions. 

Hear Maggie rummaging in the kitchen. She found the container of sea salt and poured probably 2 teaspoons worth over her remaining potatoes. I now have to throw out the remaining potatoes. Maggie somehow doesn’t flip over this. Thankful. 

Maggie grabs her iPad and heads upstairs. I follow her. As she is laying in bed watching a video, I think it’s a great idea to start this note and document our adventures on World Autism Awareness Day. As I’m typing the start of this note and recounting our morning so far, Maggie heads back downstairs. I’m into typing, but hear her eating the bowl of dry Frosted Flakes I poured for her while the potatoes were cooking. After two minutes or so, I head back downstairs. As I hit the stairs, Fran (our dog) runs by, her back covered in crushed Frosted Flakes. 🤦‍♀️ 

Maggie has thrown crushed Frosted Flakes all over the dog and the living room. I’m vacuuming as Joe walks in from his quick errand. He takes over vacuuming because Maggie has gone back upstairs and is in the bathroom by herself. I need to supervise. 

9:33- Maggie insists on her morning bath. We stop everything to do this. I also discover we have a clogged toilet. I plunge the toilet while Maggie hits the tub.

9:49- I’m updating this note while Maggie is bathing. Her favorite thing to do in the tub is pulverize the bar soap into tiny pieces. It’s a disaster of a clean up, but I don’t have it in me to stop her. “Happy Maggie” is key right now. She is whipping the little pieces all over the shower walls. Whatever. Update this note and check Facebook. 

10:00- get Maggie dressed. While I’m getting her underwear out of the laundry basket, she throws her towel onto her sleeping sister. Remove towel from Amelia’s head and get Maggie dressed. Her regular deodorant is downstairs so I put on her roll on deodorant. She isn’t thrilled but she’s laughing at me- it’s cold and she likes that. For some reason she refuses to put her shirt on. Send her downstairs in her cami. At least she has something on. Also notice that she somehow crushed goldfish crackers in her room (not sure how/when she did this). Make a mental note to vacuum her bedroom later. 

10:07- update- the reason why Maggie wouldn’t put her shirt on was because she planned to rip off her sports bra, which she just did and threw onto her sleeping sister. I put her bra away- not worth the fight, put on her tee shirt. 

10:09- Maggie’s doctor returns my SOS call from yesterday. As we are talking, Maggie gets aggressive and starts hitting me (she doesn’t like me talking on the phone). Joe intervenes so I can speak to the doctor. I lock myself in the bathroom to do this in case Maggie gets away from Joe. End call; give Maggie her morning medication (seizure and behavior meds). Maggie refuses at first; have to bribe her with candy. 

Missed a text from my co-teacher (communication regarding our SE kids)- send her a quick text back. 

10:28- finally get in the shower. 

10:42- checking my work email as I’m drying off. Answered two teacher tech questions. 

10:43- Amelia wakes up (she’s been on a horrible schedule but I don’t have it in me to change it right now) 

10:43-11:13- several things- Maggie wants to play with Amelia but is too aggressive; have to separate them. Maggie then signs “more” feverishly; wants me to play a chase game with her that I invented when she was a toddler. We do two rounds of chase and then she pulls me to her bed to cuddle with her. Let Amelia start the day on her iPod 🤦‍♀️ Checking school emails while Maggie holds me hostage in her bed 😉

11:14-Maggie goes downstairs- is requesting something. Joe handles it while I blow dry my hair and finish getting dressed. Maggie is currently screaming about something. Put on my new autism awareness shirt that I’ve worn once, only to discover a giant stain on it. Frustrated. Amelia is telling me all about a family she watches on YouTube. Glad she’s having fun with another family 🤦‍♀️🤣 send her down for breakfast. 

11:30- LAUNDRY. I am so far behind on laundry. Go in the basement to change over a load. Maggie follows me. Luckily she just hangs out on our extra couch and doesn’t bother with the cat food or litter. 

11:35- Amelia still hasn’t come down for breakfast- call her down again. 

11:38- Maggie wants to go outside- requesting trampoline. We go outside. I take the laptop with me in hopes of doing work. 

11:48- open laptop. Dog is drinking standing water in the yard. Have to get up to get her away from it (she’s been throwing up off and on all week- now I know why) 

11:50- message teacher friends about a fake Ken-Ton tweet going around and on Snapchat. Fun times

Realized I haven’t had breakfast yet. 

Dog is still drinking mf mud water. 

Answered a tech email, texted my tech partner, working on an assignment for the online staff development class I’m in. 

Joe is inside making Amelia breakfast and getting her to begrudgingly do some of her school packet, which has become an issue. 

Maggie just threw her Mardi Gras beads all over the yard. Need to retrieve them before Fran eats them.  

12:16- back to attempting to do work. Trying to get through a 5 min video and read a chapter from a book. Success- got through an entire module. Score! 

12:35- Maggie wants to go inside (lunchtime). I made myself a bagel finally. 

Amelia is doing packet work and iXL- 😀

1:42- been quiet for the last hour. Was able to get the screencast done for Google Forms and send it to the staff. Maggie’s been watching some videos and having lunch/snack. Amelia worked on an art activity. 

1:44- took a call from a friend- chatting about a tech issue. Maggie got upset that I was on the phone. Meltdown #1 of the day begins. Kicking, hitting, spitting in my face. She noticed her swimsuit that I was hiding and wants it on because she wants to go swimming. The pool next door is obviously closed, but she thinks sun equals swim. Joe took over so I could remove Amelia and take her outside to play. 

2:12- finally calming down. Cuddly with Joe. *We are worried that she is violent towards me in order to get Joe’s attention. Which, right now we kind of have to do so that I don’t get attacked. No right answers at the moment. Survival mode. Doing our best. Thankful to have Joe home so we can work as a team with the outbursts and violent behaviors. 

2:30- Maggie came outside, enjoying trampoline. I’m answering emails from my phone. Laptop died- on charger in the house. 

Joe’s been battling a sore throat for 2 days. We know it’s allergies, but still stressful. Joe’s resting while I’m outside with the kiddos. 

4:48- quiet afternoon. Maggie is laying on the couch- I think her short night’s sleep is catching up with her. (Me too 💤). Answered a tech email, setting up my Google Classrooms for the online class I’m teaching next week. Amelia just finished her virtual taekwondo class. I have a headache setting in- all of us are relaxing. 

Maggie fell asleep! She rarely naps- we did a medication adjustment this morning/. Could be that, or could be just sleepy from barely sleeping last night. Didn’t notice any seizure activity beforehand, but could be that too. Always guessing. 

7- woke Maggie up. She doesn’t want to eat dinner. 😕 not sure if she’s not feeling well, if the increase in meds is bothering her... I hate that she can’t tell us what’s wrong. 

Unloaded/reloaded dishwasher

7:30- yay, Maggie’s eating! 

Thinking about the fact that I need to make yet another grocery list and switch laundry from this morning. 

8:39- Maggie requests 2nd bath of the day. 

9:00- fresh out of the tub, Maggie requests going on the trampoline again. I tell her not tonight/ getting late. She actually handles this well - requests tickles instead and cuddling on the bed. 

FaceTime with aunt and cousin. Maggie isn’t thrilled that she can’t touch their faces through the phone. 

9:31- Maggie is requesting her school bus, which is funny because she had three bus write ups prior to the extended closure. I think she wants routine. 

She also is requesting basketball and soccer balls, which is what she requested when we drove by Tully’s yesterday (one of her old favorite restaurants that we haven’t been to in years). Smart cookie to recognize the sign and request details from it! Poor kid wants Tully’s again. Is now settling for a pretzel request- god I hope we have pretzels. We do!

Very happy but very stimmy- listening to her iPad and throwing her entire body against the back of the couch (something she does often). Our furniture is not even a year old and we are afraid she is going to destroy it. 

11:31: still awake. Ending the day like we started- blasting the iPad at full volume and listening to the same song/video. Note- link I sent to Joe to set the iPad volume didn’t work. Currently bed hopping and throwing blankets.

12:01- still awake but settling. A bit aggressive for a few minutes.

12:10am- finally asleep. Not me- I’m still wide awake, trying to process the day, calm my brain, and get ready for tomorrow.